Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
