just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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