I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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