i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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