i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
