escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
