Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
