Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
