you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
