Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
