Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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