either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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