allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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