i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
