don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
