i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
