No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
