she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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