You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
