Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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