gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
