Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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