when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
