i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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