I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
from now on my penis is your penis
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
