If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
