I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
