Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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