Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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