he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
