basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
