I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
