he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
