Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just googled if crying burns calories
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
