He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
