dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
