What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Panties = found
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
