It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I want to fling myself into the sun
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
