I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
