It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
