I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
