at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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