Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
