I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
