belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
