know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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