I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
