? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
