Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
