I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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