Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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